Don’t Buy the Tickets

I read the book. Then I watch the movie. 

While I watch the movie, there are subtle moments where I think to myself, “Wait…that’s not how it really happened. Unless…was it??” But then the scene fades, and the written word and cinematic version are once again unfolding in sync with each other. At least for a while. I start to wonder if maybe I didn’t actually observe a difference from what I read. Maybe the movie had it right all along. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe my memory fails me.

But then, suddenly, there’s another incongruence. Again, I dismiss my inner discord and try to just enjoy the movie anyway. Clearly the writers get a pass for deviating from the original, right? After all, they have a story to sell. They have a time limit and a budget. They have a following to gain, and they have profits to consider. “It seems reasonable,” I tell myself. By the end of the movie, I have repeated this inner conflict so many times that the book and the movie blend right into one another. I may not even be able to properly separate my memories of the book from my memories of the movie. 

Welcome to the world of gaslighting. 

Anyone who has endured psychological abuse understands how the original story in its pure form (victim’s actual experience) can become difficult to separate from the much more sensational and fast paced cinematic version (abuser’s narrative) which has had bits and pieces pulled away and added on in order to make it more appealing to the general public and, in turn, create revenue for the personal gain of the producer. 

You might argue that abusers aren’t trying to sell literal tickets, and you would be correct. However, they are generating “revenue” of a different form. Do you know where tickets often “sell” the fastest? Family Court. Law Enforcement. The victim’s former friends and family. Pretty soon, no one seems to know or care if the original story in its pure form even exists anymore. The sensational version is easily shared with any and all audiences, while the book takes effort and time to understand. Before long, the revenue starts adding up along with the 5 star reviews. The Marriage Counselor is a fan. Child Protective Services is a fan. Law Enforcement is a fan. The Guardian ad litem is a fan. The Judge and the Magistrate are fans. Custody of the kids is slipping away, child support is withdrawn, numbers are fudged, property is divided, even the victim questions the original story, and the abuser keeps the profits.

So, what are we to do?

To the victim of cinematic piracy, keep writing your story. Don’t doubt your story. Keep reading your story. Keep sharing your story (but only concern yourself with the readers who are willing to put steady time and effort into understanding the book). 

To the readers and viewers out there, don’t keep buying tickets to the show. (Say it again, louder for the ones in the back: DON’T BUY TICKETS TO THE SHOW!) I promise you, the book is ALWAYS better if you’re willing to put in the time and make the effort. (More on how professionals can prevent systemic coercive control in another post….or several.)

To the producer,….eh….never mind. You’re probably not interested in opportunities to grow anyway. Not when there are tickets to sell. The show must go on. You must keep getting paid.

Just know that I’m no longer one of your customers.