Yields 52 weeks of questioning everything
Ingredients:
5 cups false accusations (Can be flavored to taste with Parental Alienation and Munchausen)
¾ cup legal fees (Be sure to sift out any child support, as this will surely affect the final texture)
½ cup circular arguments
½ cup denial
¼ cup unbalanced parenting schedules
4 emotional states, beaten
8 oz blatant lies
3 heaping tbs passive aggressive omissions
(can substitute sabotage of any form)
¼ tsp lost toys
¼ tsp lost shoes
⅛ tsp lost clothing
Instructions:
Combine ingredients in the order given. Don’t bother with a bowl. Scatter the ingredients thoroughly all over yourself and everyone you love, and then blend until no one knows which way is up anymore. Cook at the highest emotional intensity you can withstand for up to 18 years or until unable to function.
Kidding aside, many of us have been court ordered into a co-parenting relationship with our abuser. It can feel hopeless…. like a sentence for life in a prison where they serve endless recipes made of poisonous ingredients. It’s like receiving the death penalty for a crime you never committed, except it kills you slowly from the inside out.
Many times we can be left wondering if it was even worth it to leave. We certainly don’t feel “free” like the domestic violence advocates always insist we will be on the other side. We must have contact with our abuser regularly, and now our kids regularly have to deal with the abuse without us there to help. It truly does have to ability to kill us from the inside out.
But what if there still is a way to be free even if it doesn’t look exactly the way the DV advocates promised it would look? What if we can find ways to celebrate our freedom even when the broken systems still haven’t changed after years of bias and corruption in family courts? What if instead we could change the ingredients?
Co-Parenting with an Abuser
Yields approximately 52 weeks of inner freedom
Ingredients:
5 cups documentation
¾ cup community financial support
½ cup disengagement from circular arguments
½ cup reality
¼ cup making the time you have count
4 efforts at emotional self-regulations, whole
8 oz commitment to integrity
3 heaping tbs consistency and routine
¼ tsp waterproof labels
¼ tsp thrift store shopping
⅛ tsp hand me downs
Instructions:
Combine ingredients in the order given. Don’t bother with a bowl. Scatter the ingredients thoroughly all over yourself and everyone you love, and do not over-mix. (Have strong boundaries that keep everyone aware of their value as an individual, including yourself.) Cook at the temperature of self compassion for up to 18 years or until your children are able to function on their own.
Stay strong Bekah. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met. You did not deserve any of this. Praying for you and your sweet babies.