Words
It was just an email.
It’s not like he hit me.
He didn’t threaten my physical safety.
It was just words.
Words.
“It didn’t happen,” said law enforcement.
“And if it did, it wasn’t that bad,” said CPS
“And if it was, It’s not a big deal,” said the court.
“And if it is, it wasn’t his fault, “ said the GAL.
And if it was, he didn’t mean it,” said the counselor.
“And if he did, it was your fault,” said his lawyer.
“You’re the one who deserves it,” said CPS.
“It’s time to move on,” said the court one last time.
“Welcome to the blender,” I said.
I live here with all. these. words.
And when he blends up another bitter cocktail,
I’m not supposed to feel confused.
I’m not supposed to feel afraid.
I’m not supposed to be in agony as I wonder once again if the kids are ok.
I’m supposed to drink it down.
Sip that I am the real oppressor.
Swallow that he is the real victim.
Digest that he was better all along.
Absorb that I should be ashamed of myself.
And never, ever question the Words,
While he is always questioning mine.
I’m supposed to tell the kids to have a good time.
And I’m supposed to put them in the blender when they don’t.
“Daddy didn’t put his hands where they shouldn’t be. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t slap you across the face. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t throw you in the lake as punishment knowing you didn’t yet know how to swim. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t hide with you in the woods for two days until the police came. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t assault the minivan while yelling that I was trying to run him over. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t keep us trapped at the end of the driveway when all we wanted was to escape unharmed. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy didn’t lock you in the cab of his truck in the middle of winter because you liked the coat from my house better than his. And if he did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it wasn’t his fault. And if it was, he didn’t mean it. And if he did, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy doesn’t leave you alone to play with fire and weapons. And if he does, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy doesn’t try to keep you from being able to call me. And if he does, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually my fault.”
Daddy doesn’t withhold the medicine that keeps you from having suicidal thoughts. And if he does, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually my fault.”
“Daddy is a good dad. He just does things differently.”
Words.
Just words.
Maybe they sounded oddly familiar to you.
“ICE doesn’t traumatize children. And if they do, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t their fault. And if it is, they don’t mean it. And if they do, it’s actually the “aliens’” fault.”
“ICE doesn’t detain anyone but “the worst of the worst.” And if they do, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t their fault. And if it is, they don’t mean it. And if they do, it’s actually the “illegals’” fault.”
“ICE doesn’t strip people of their basic human rights. And if they do, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t their fault. And if it is, they don’t mean it. And if they do, it’s actually the Democrats’ fault.”
“ICE didn’t gun down an innocent woman. And if they did, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t their fault. And if it is, they don’t mean it. And if they do, it’s actually her fault.”
“ICE didn’t gun down an innocent man. And if they did, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t their fault. And if it is, they don’t mean it. And if they do, it’s actually his fault.”
“Trump didn’t publicly humiliate a reporter who was just doing her job. And if he did, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually the media’s fault.”
“Trump didn’t invalidate the necessity of support for people with disabilities. And if he did, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually Big Pharma’s fault.”
Trump didn’t make a racist post on social media. And if he did, it isn’t that bad. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is, it isn’t his fault. And if it is, he doesn’t mean it. And if he does, it’s actually Obama’s fault.”
“Trump’s a good President. He just does things differently.”
It was just a brief surge.
It’s not like white people need to worry.
No one’s threatening my physical safety.
It’s all just words.
Words.
I have words, too.
I wonder who will listen:
“No one is more empowered than the oppressor who escapes accountability on the backs of discomfort, complicity and self-promotion.”
“The impunity of the oppressor always equals the exploitation of the vulnerable.”
“Complacency is only a slide into complicity if you sit down on it.”
So what would it look like for you to stand up?
It’s time for fighting words.
If we do not end the silence,
We’ll keep on ending the silenced.